Pee Complications
Complications followed me around like a shadow. Nothing was ever straightforward for me. I had just finished a semester of nursing school walking with just a cane for assistance. By the beginning of summer, I didn’t even need the cane anymore, but a new problem had cropped up. i started to be unable to pee. At first, it was just that I felt like I needed to pee all the time and was always in the bathroom. The thing was that I only peed a little bit every time I went in there. Then I started to still feel the urge to pee even after I had just left the bathroom.
I mentioned my peeing issue to Dr. Kaye, my adolescent medicine doctor, and she made me a referral to go see a urologist.
Even Worse Pee Complications
The day before I was supposed to see the urologist my problem intensified. I went into the bathroom feeling like I had to pee, only nothing came out. Even turning on the faucet so I could hear the running water sound didn’t help. Focusing super hard I tried to will the pee out and bear down, but nothing came out. Over the course of three hours, I kept trying to urinate, but I had no success even though my bladder felt really full. I was even starting to look pregnant, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t go.
It got to the point where I was tingling and almost itching, because I had to pee so badly. I felt like I was going to explode. It was like I had just drunk ten cups of coffee and had now been sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic with no sign of it letting it up. Finally, I was so uncomfortable I called the urologist that I was scheduled to see the following morning at 10 AM.
Emergency Urology Appointment
“We’re going to have you come in right now. We’ll squeeze you in between his booked appointments.” the nurse at the urology office told me. “Can you get a ride?”
“Yeah, I’ll have my mom take me immediately. I feel like I’m about to burst and it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I have to pee so bad that it hurts. This has never happened to me before.” I explained.
“Mom…” I called down from my bathroom. The whole time I’d been sitting on the toilet because I physically and psychologically couldn’t handle doing anything else. My mom heard me calling and immediately agreed to take me to the doctor. She could hear the agony in my voice.
The entire car ride I jiggled my leg up and down, doing the pee-pee dance. When we finally arrived the receptionist didn’t even need to ask me my name. She could see my pregnant-looking belly and the desperation in my eyes.
Desperate Waiting Room Games and a Bladder Full of Pee
“You must be Becca here to see Dr. Metta,” she said.
I just nodded.
“I know you’re uncomfortable. You look miserable. He’ll take you in as soon as he can.” she told me.
I waited in the waiting room for the next two hours in more distress than most people could handle for five minutes. Every ten minutes I got up and asked the receptionist how much longer it would be.
When Dr. Metta finally called me into the exam room, I had to waddle to the door. It only took him one look to size up the situation.
“You need to be catheterized,” he told me. “I’m going to have you lay down on the exam table and take off your pants and underwear and then cover yourself with this paper sheet. In a minute I’m going to leave the room and let you change. Then I’ll come back in with my medical assistant Neilsa and then we’ll scan your bladder and drain all of the backed-up urine out of it.”
Bring On the Catheter, Let Out the Pee
As soon as he left the room, I yanked off my pink lacy capris and pink and white polka-dotted underwear. Then I performed a feat that I would not have been able to accomplish several months earlier. I climbed onto the exam table.
Once I was on the exam table I pulled the paper sheet over my exposed half.
“I’m all set!” I called into the hall praying that Dr. Metta and Neilsa could hear me. I needed that urine out as fast as possible and didn’t want to waste any time, or in any way prolong the process of getting all this backed up urine out of me.
I thanked God profusely when a minute later they knocked and then walked through the door. A young Hispanic woman with shoulder-length brown hair with blonde highlights was pulling a little machine on wheels. It had a cord, a screen, and an ultrasound wand attached.
How Much Pee is Actually in Me?
“We just want to see how much urine is in your bladder to start with so we can make sure we get it all out,” the woman who introduced herself as Neilsa, explained. “Lie back on the exam table and lower the sheet to just above your pubic bone, then lift your shirt up to your bra line.”
Even though I felt extremely embarrassed that some tufts of pubic hair were visible above the paper sheet while a male was in the room, desperate times called for desperate measures. “Dr. Metta has seen this before,” I had to remind myself. “You need him.”
As time went on and I got older and sicker I got used to being revealed in front of people and my embarrassment evaporated as I would just whip up my shirt or let people yank down my pants so that people could access my tubes and lines and body for medical procedures and care, but back then I was still modest and shy about everything.
This is a bladder scanner,” Neilsa explained as she squirted some cold gel on the probe and pressed it down just above where the sheet ended. Her eyes widened after I heard the machine beep a few times.
“You have 1,300 ml of urine in your bladder,” Dr. Metta informed me. “That’s like three-quarters of a two-liter bottle of soda. No wonder you’re uncomfortable. A bladder is only supposed to hold about 400 ml of urine at a time. You’re over triple of that. How long have you not been able to void?”
Time for the Actual Insertion of the Catheter
“I’ve been trying to pee for five hours now.” I told him.
“You said you’ve been feeling like you still have to urinate after you finish voiding?” he asked me.
I nodded.
“You probably have had a good amount in your bladder for several days. You’re probably retaining urine even after you are successful in your attempts at voiding,” he explained. “I’m going to catheterize you now with a small 12 french straight catheter and you’ll feel a lot better, but I’m going to have you keep your appointment for tomorrow because I need to make sure this doesn’t keep happening. I may have to catheterize you again tomorrow.”
The catheter he was holding looked like an eight-inch long, small, flexible tube. I did not like the idea of that tube being shoved up my urethra, especially by a man, but I had no choice. I was so desperate for relief, in fact, that I was actually looking forward to it.
Scared and Looking for Relief
“I’m going to have you pull the sheet up higher so I can access your bladder,” he told me.
My hands shook as I pulled it up. I was terrified of this procedure on one hand, but on the other hand, I couldn’t wait for a second longer to feel the relief of emptying.
Neilsa wheeled a tray table over and covered it with a sterile sheet. Then she handed Dr. Metta a pair of large sterile gloves. I watched as he snapped them on using the sterile technique I had learned about in nursing school.
“You’re going to feel my left hand spreading your labia apart,” he gently explained.
The Urge to Pee Trumps Anxiety
I had been worried about what it would feel like to have a man touching my private parts, I was still a virgin then (this was despite the fact that as a child my friend Tessa’s father Bobby had attempted to rape me over and over again from the front and behind from when I was five until I was ten. I had been so little that he hadn’t been able to make full entry) but at that point, the urge to pee was so overwhelming that I no longer had space for things like modesty.
“Now I’m going to swab you with this cleanser called betadine. I’ll do one side at a time and then down the center. It’s going to feel a little cold and wet but it won’t hurt.”
I was so nervous my teeth were chattering as he cleansed me.
“Now I’m going to squirt some of this lubricant onto the sterile tray and dip the catheter in the lubricant.”
The shivering and chattering continued. I watched as he did just that.
Breathing in the Catheter
“Okay, now I want you to take a deep breath in and slowly blow it out as I insert the catheter into your urethra.”
My breath shook, I began to slowly let it out.
The tube went into my urethra and I felt pressure, but no pain. Then, the miracle of miracles happened, out of the catheter and into his basin went a steady stream of beautiful yellow pee that continued on for eternity.
At that point, all nerves and anxiety were gone. I didn’t hurt at all. All I felt was the most encompassing sense of relief in the world. The pressure and pain were instantly erased. I began breathing normally for the first time in the last four or five hours.
The Intense Relief of Beautiful Pee
“Thank you so much you guys,” I sighed, almost crying from the relief.
“No problem, glad to help,” said Dr. Metta. “You had to have been so uncomfortable. That was a lot of urine you were retaining. Now we just have to figure out why you’re retaining and see what we can do about it.”
“Ok,” I agreed.
“We’re going to set you up for something called a urodynamics test that will tell us why this is happening.” Explained Dr. Metta.
“Check-in with the receptionist on the way out to schedule the test. Dr. Metta will make sure she knows this has to be done urgently.” Neilsa told me as I was gathering up my purse and favorite pink sweatshirt jacket that I’d gotten from The Children’s Place.
“I will,” I told her.
“It can be dangerous for your kidneys to have that much urine back up into them, so make sure you don’t miss your appointment tomorrow. Tomorrow you won’t have to sit in the waiting room as long because of the fact that it’s a planned appointment. This appointment was trickier to fit in because it was an emergency.” Dr. Metta explained.
I went home feeling light, airy, and relieved as if I could just float away.