Browsing: A Childhood Lost to Chronic Illness
by Becca on August 2, 2019
Looking like a five- or six-year-old when you’re twelve causes big problems in middle school. When you add to that the fact that the most popular girl in class, Natasha, got a hold of classified information that you spent a week and a half on a children’s psychiatric unit in fifth grade, that’s raising the problem level even higher. If you started sixth grade with a tube coming out of your nose to feed you because there’s something wrong with your stomach, that right there is strike three. It’s game over if you know all the answers to the teacher’s questions and usurp Natasha’s position as the “smartest kid in class.”
The year before, I finished sixth grade early because the teasing and bullying got too brutal for me. I was way ahead academically (despite a developmental delay in other areas) and could have easily skipped a grade or two … Find Out What Happens Next
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Tagged as: bullying, Chronic illness, conversion disorder, coping skills, crisis center, crisis survival strategies, denial, diet, dietary changes, dieting, dietitian, doctor, gastroenterologist, gastroparesis, gastroparesis diet, gi doctor, gp diet, hypochondriac, motility disorder, partial hospitalization program, pedialyte, pediasure, psych crisis, ptsd, Sick, somatization, spoonie, therapy, treatment
by Becca on August 1, 2019
The partial hospital program rescued me after we realized that attending regular middle school just wasn’t going to work out for me. My private Jewish Day School had really small classes, but it was like a giant clique where I was left behind alone with only one other girl, who always had her nose in a book and was oblivious to the world around her.
I had gone to most of the sixth grade but bailed toward the end of the year when I couldn’t take the bullying anymore. Then I went back for the beginning of seventh grade, but again, didn’t last long. My gastroparesis flared up which stressed out my parents, who, big surprise! Tried to blame it on psychological causes, even though I’d had extensive testing done at the hospital when I was ten with a gastric emptying study showing that I have one of the most … Find Out What Happens Next
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Tagged as: abuse history, anxiety, breathing techniques, child psychiatry, cognitive behavioral therapy, dbt, depression, flashbacks, happy place, homeschooling, mindfulness, partial hospitalization program, power trip, progressive relaxation techniques, psychiatry, psychology, ptsd, restraints, restraints and seclusion, seclusion, self harm, shrink, talk therapy, therapy, visualization exercises
by Becca on July 23, 2019
My pediatric cardiologist was extremely concerned about me by the time I was thirteen. He stayed in close contact with Dr. Kaye, my adolescent medicine doctor. When I was lying down on that crinkly white paper on the exam table, my heart rate was usually about 120. Sitting up it was usually about 135, and when I stood up, it was in the 150s. Neither Dr. Kaye or Dr. Oster, the cardiologist, ever said anything about those numbers being abnormal, but I read it right off their faces.
After they left the room I looked it up on my phone. A normal heart rate for a teenager is 60 to 100 beats per minute, and it shouldn’t fluctuate like that with changes of position.
Dr. Oster said they wanted to run a bunch of tests on my heart shortly before my fourteenth birthday. I was not surprised.
The EKGs and … Find Out What Happens Next
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Tagged as: a fib, adenosine, atrial fibrillation, atrial flutter, cardiology, cardioversion, Chronic illness, dysautonomia, EKG, emergency room, heart monitor, hospital, hypokalemia, hypotension, kidney issues, low blood pressure, low potassium, passing out, pediatric cardiology, pediatrics, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, POtS, sinus tachycardia, spoonies, SVT, syncopal episode, syncope
by Becca on July 16, 2019
If you wanted to look up the word sick in the dictionary, you would probably find a picture of me. Ever since I was eight years old and started struggling with muscle fatigue and appetite loss I have been on a downward trend in my health. By the time I was ten I had had my first NG tube. This was followed by my first surgery when the NG tube caused a bowel obstruction. Then I had to deal with an even thicker NG tube to suction. This was followed by my first NJ tube.
I spent a good chunk of fifth grade in the hospital, and went home from the hospital with the NJ tube still in place and a diagnosis of severe gastroparesis. The rest of my childhood was spent racking up frequent flier miles at my local children’s hospital. At age thirteen my heart rhythm disturbances took … Find Out What Happens Next
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Tagged as: adolescence, Chronic illness, family issues, feeding tube, gastroparesis, global dysmotility, homeschooled, hospital, hospital life, motility disorder, NJ tube, preteen, refeeding syndrome, Sick, spoonie, tubie, weight loss
