my first crush - Chronically Alive

Suicidal Ideation, A New Safety Net, and Action Planning

by Becca on June 7, 2021

Jeff, the man of my dreams (although, at that point, I hadn’t told him how I felt about him), was waiting for me at my spot near the fireplace when I got off the elevator and turned the corner into the dining room in the main building of Side By Side Assisted Living. Lesley, my private duty aide, parked me right next to him. He had a big impish grin on his face, but when he saw I’d been crying, his grin melted away and he looked concerned.

“What happened Becca?” He asked me.

“I’m not allowed to say,” I told him, “But I’m not allowed to have any men in my apartment anymore.”

“Who said that?” he asked me. “Your parents? They shelter you way too much, you know I-”

“It wasn’t my parents it was Eve (the owner of Side By Side),” I … Find Out What Happens Next

Tagged as: anxiety, assisted living, bending rules and going to my life partners apartment, chronically ill, dark suicidal thoughts, deciding not to overdose, depression, emotional pain, feeding tube, flashbacks to childhood abuse, frustration, gastroparesis, getting message from my crush, GJ tube, global dysmotility, independent living, J tube, make up meeting with my molester, more funny Jeff stories, Muscles Harford, my eventual fiance, my first crush, my life partner, needing to apologize to my molester, poor prognosis, post acute stress reaction, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, preparing to overdose on Phenergan through J tuber, ptsd, reporting childhood abuse, Side by Side Assisted Living, Small Fiber Autonomic Polyneuropathy, spoonie, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, total digestive tract failure, tubie, visiting with my mom, wheelchair bound

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A Sweetheart, A Horny Old Man, and a Set Up For Disaster

by Becca on February 6, 2021

When I got over to the main building of Side By Side Assisted Living on my first morning officially living there, I had Lesley, my private duty aide (that would be working with me for the 2 to 4 weeks before my Medicaid provided PCA hours kicked in) wheel me into the dining room where the fireplace I’d fallen in love with on my tour a few days earlier was. That woman who had asked me if I was in school the other day was sitting in one of the chairs by the fireplace with her knitting. Lesley moved the empty chair that was next to her so that she could park my wheelchair in its spot.

“You can’t rearrange the furniture,” the woman who was knitting told Lesley.

“I just want to move this chair a little bit, so Becca can sit by the fireplace.” Explained Lesley.

“Well she’s … Find Out What Happens Next

Tagged as: chasing down my first crush, chronically ill, gastroparesis, getting set up to meet the love of my life, inviting my enemy to my house, meeting my future enemy, meeting new residents at the assisted living, my first crush, Sick, Small Fiber Autonomic Polyneuropathy, spoonie, tubie, watching my future life partner be a sweetheart, wheelchair bound

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Meeting the Love of My Life, Another Nursing Home Parolee

by Becca on January 27, 2021

For the two days after I spoke with John, a very tall big man who walked with a serpent cane, all I could think about was meeting Jeff officially. John had informed me that he was really good at fixing computers and was in charge of the internet and computer system at Side By Side Assisted Living the place where I now lived despite the fact that I was only 24 years old. John had noticed the internet was down in my apartment and offered to fix it. We had a long conversation where he somehow picked up from me that I had a major crush on Jeff.

“Jeff and I go way back,” Jonh told me. “He’s amazing with computers himself. How about I bring him with me when I come over to fix your internet, and then the three of us can just hang out?” he suggested.

“That … Find Out What Happens Next

Tagged as: chronically ill, dysautonomia, gastroparesis, getting to know my life partner, global dysmotility, Jeff's funny stories, Jeff's story of liver failure, meeting my first crush, my first crush, POtS, Sick, Side by Side Assisted Living, Small Fiber Autonomic Polyneuropathy, spoonie, total digestive tract failure, tubie, wheelchair bound

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Chronically Alive

Tag: my first crush

Suicidal Ideation, A New Safety Net, and Action Planning

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A Sweetheart, A Horny Old Man, and a Set Up For Disaster

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Meeting the Love of My Life, Another Nursing Home Parolee

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Tag: my first crush

Suicidal Ideation, A New Safety Net, and Action Planning

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A Sweetheart, A Horny Old Man, and a Set Up For Disaster

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Meeting the Love of My Life, Another Nursing Home Parolee

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